everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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