Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
