absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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