FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
