i don't like sucking hair
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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