am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
