I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
