Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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