girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
We don't watch enough power rangers
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Randomize
