Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
