u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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