Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
