forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
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