I think I died a long time ago.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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