SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
