You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
