its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
try to milk me bitch
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
