so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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