Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
