I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Pappa wants mamma naked
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
