I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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