So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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