well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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