Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
40s are totally the cure
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
