i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize