I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize