After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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