Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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