That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize