did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
how does that bad decision feel?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
