You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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