he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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