lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
