Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
