Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
no you cant smoke seaweed
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
