dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize
