The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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