I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
A+ Viking dick
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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