We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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