if i can run in heels then i can drive
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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