Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
