bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
