So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
