I don't think brook has ever known best
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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