the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
The Olympian is in my bed
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
