Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
