I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize