Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
