nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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