i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
