Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
