I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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