I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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