Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Randomize
