Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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