Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
