Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
