I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
