Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
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