he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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