can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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