Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
We don't watch enough power rangers
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
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