If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
