Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
