I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
the day after is always just damage control
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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