She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize