I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Are we still banned from the library?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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